You always try to be nice - and the thing is you are being nice and a good human being. Because you understand what is going on in someone’s head, you put yourself in their shoes and see everything from their perspective and then everything seems justified. So at this point in time, you cannot figure out what you feel and in all of this you tend to just suppress what you feel because you feel that the person has good potential and it is just a bad situation that they are in which is making them do this. But what if that happens repeatedly? - then what are you supposed to do?
This is something that I have felt millions of times or maybe more. And then some other fuck all person comes into your life and says that a nice person would always be a nice person. But well yes I agree, but then to what extend can that go on? Also if in a relationship, no matter the type - either friendship, spose, sibling, or anything else - if all of this comes from only one end then how is it supposed to survive? When the person who has meant a lot to you and then suddenly does shady things like not talking to you, getting mad at you because you did not tell them one thing that was not even that significant in your life and they make a scene out of it. When in reality they want you to tell them everything in your life but they would not do the same. And just because I have done it that does not give them the right to lash out on me if it did not work out how they wanted it to. It is as if they want to know whatever the fuck goes into my head and life but for them well it is a choice - how is this fucking fair?
And after all this bullshit you still set your ego and your issues aside and try to make them feel better, try to communicate with them, for gods sake call almost every weekend for 3 months and they cannot even fucking give a call back? And text back once or twice giving some bullshit reason that they are busy. In all the tree months they cannot spare 5 mins? That is bullshit right there. And still after all this you still reconcile when you are back in town and to the text that you send “Call me when you are free”, the reply you get is “Brother what’s up”- instead of a call; you get a text. This just shows how low your friendship has gotten and the worse part is that you are the only one that is trying to make it survive and the other person is just least bothered or BUSY as they say it.
This makes me wonder why would I ever be nice - nobody should be this nice and put up with this bullshit. It is not required and if someone says that and I quote them - “If you are a nice person then this should not bother you and you should not be like this”. Well yeah but I am human I need the same amount of love and effort that I give and in all the 25 years I have not gotten that. So what does everybody have to say for this? How is it fucking fair? And why me?
(pardon my French)